Hi. I was diagnosed for years as bipolar. I have never been able to hold down a job because I think people are persecuting me and I think I have no option but to quit my job. On the job I would start crying, or yelling at the customers and the noises and lights bothered me, I thought the customers were shooting arrows at me with their looks and words.
I got into recovery for my substance abuse and tried to go without my medication for about 10 years and my symptoms got worse and that was when I was correctly diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I was hospitalized when i tried to go to college and thought everyone was dressing up like it was the 70's just for me and I started freaking out. They tried to put me on Abilify and after a month, I quit my meds and threw all my belongings in the garbage and moved to another state.
I ended up homeless and living in a shelter, trying to work and when my friend died, I thought his druggy friends were all out to get me and I became extremely paranoid. The homeless shelter sent me to a pyschiatrist for an evaluation and she said I was psychotic. I told her I was not taking their meds and left. I held about 10 different jobs in a year and became increasingly sick.
I went back to the psychiatrist and told them I could talk to the tv through my computer and the tv was talking directly to me. I thought I was jesus christ and I also thought that the clerks at the supermarket were writing down everything I purchased. I was exausted trying to maintain my sanity. The psychiatrist started me on Zyprexa and Lexapro. I immediately found relief from my psychosis.
SSI rescued me from homelessness and I now live in my own apartment. I had to change my meds from Zyprexa because I gained about 50 pounds and my cholesterol was 399 so I now take Abilify and Lamotrigine. I don't have many friends and I spend a lot of time on the computer playing World of Warcraft of Diablo II Mods.